Poetry

Poetry has been my outlet for the past twenty-five years.  A lot of what I write is about the experiences I faced and just overall things that has touched me.  Some of it is quite dark but some offers what I did to hold on.  I penned my first poems in anthologies in the beginning years.  I reread some of them and have tweaked them because I grew as a poet.  These are a few of my poems I had written and wanted to share.

This poem was about my mom and going off to the backwoods at our motel.  It was an escape for a moment, even temporarily.

Beneath the Secret Woods

A honey hair beauty veils

Her enormous dreams

Void of delirious moments

From winter woman with black wind

The dainty creature

Spies attentively

At the radiant thickets

Chanting gorgeous music

To the luscious sky

Sun pleases the delicate child

Fiercely guarded against

The winter woman with black wind

Whose tongue draws blood

This secret place

Where no one can enter

Some of my poems I wrote are in a book I self published back in 2005.  I don’t promote the book because it was written during a time I was in a lot of emotional pain and the motive was more of a lash out rather than a book about surviving and healing.  The following poem tells of being in a marriage that was not healthy and felt I lost my individuality.

A Thousand Days

Over a thousand days

On and off places together

Your cool knife

Slicing at every chance

Over a thousand days

Your drunken urges   

 Wanting to play

Your lifeless music

Drumming inside

Over a thousand days

Baring all my vulnerabilities

With your smooth talking drool

Raw sleep abandoned me

Over a thousand days

Finally tearing down your power

Dusting away your meaningless love

Go demolish someone elses garden

I need to reclaim mine

Besides

You had over a thousand days

This next poem another poem that is found in my book.  I had a lot of moments of self reflection.  It was at times torturing but later on in life I realized it was a time for growth.  I just didn’t know it back in my younger years.

Angel in the Mirror

Angel in the mirror 

I see

All your pain inflicting me

Reflecting back to another time                   

Hope next life’s a better find

Lost in a forgotten playground

Nobody cares if I’m lost or found

Thrown away by society

No one claims me as their property

The river’s dried up

Nothing flows

Voices echo I’m not sure

Saying maybe this time there’s a cure

Get out while I still can

Protect my heart with a better plan

Angel reflects

Nothing but humility

Angel let me go

There’s nothing left that I owe

My sobs now heard on bleeding stones

Now I’m left completely alone

This poem is called Blades of Coldness.  I wrote it while trying to process all that my mom put me through.  It has been a long hard road of learning to forgive her because of her own pain.  It still pains me but I can say it has made me stronger as a person.

Blades of Coldness

All the circumstances cannot hold

In this place once called home

Locked away for years of abuse

Your tongue rolled out any excuse

I lived my life as your silhouette

Pains me today you had no regrets

You knew I wouldn’t run and tell

It was payback for causing you hell

Everything I did I couldn’t satisfy

Later learned it was to crucify

Strength came so I could leave

Realized there was much to achieve

Sometimes I think of your icy touch

Your blades of coldness did so much

All those years I played the part

Never again will you penetrate my heart

There are many more poems to share but for now I wanted to give a taste.  I promise not all my poems are dark and dismal.  I have a lot to be thankful for especially the grace and mercy from my Lord.  I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for His great love for me.