Poetry has been my outlet for the past twenty-five years. A lot of what I write is about the experiences I faced and just overall things that has touched me. Some of it is quite dark but some offers what I did to hold on. I penned my first poems in anthologies in the beginning years. I reread some of them and have tweaked them because I grew as a poet. These are a few of my poems I had written and wanted to share.
This poem was about my mom and going off to the backwoods at our motel. It was an escape for a moment, even temporarily.
Beneath the Secret Woods
A honey hair beauty veils
Her enormous dreams
Void of delirious moments
From winter woman with black wind
The dainty creature
Spies attentively
At the radiant thickets
Chanting gorgeous music
To the luscious sky
Sun pleases the delicate child
Fiercely guarded against
The winter woman with black wind
Whose tongue draws blood
This secret place
Where no one can enter
Some of my poems I wrote are in a book I self published back in 2005. I don’t promote the book because it was written during a time I was in a lot of emotional pain and the motive was more of a lash out rather than a book about surviving and healing. The following poem tells of being in a marriage that was not healthy and felt I lost my individuality.
A Thousand Days
Over a thousand days
On and off places together
Your cool knife
Slicing at every chance
Over a thousand days
Your drunken urges
Wanting to play
Your lifeless music
Drumming inside
Over a thousand days
Baring all my vulnerabilities
With your smooth talking drool
Raw sleep abandoned me
Over a thousand days
Finally tearing down your power
Dusting away your meaningless love
Go demolish someone elses garden
I need to reclaim mine
Besides
You had over a thousand days
This next poem another poem that is found in my book. I had a lot of moments of self reflection. It was at times torturing but later on in life I realized it was a time for growth. I just didn’t know it back in my younger years.
Angel in the Mirror
Angel in the mirror
I see
All your pain inflicting me
Reflecting back to another time
Hope next life’s a better find
Lost in a forgotten playground
Nobody cares if I’m lost or found
Thrown away by society
No one claims me as their property
The river’s dried up
Nothing flows
Voices echo I’m not sure
Saying maybe this time there’s a cure
Get out while I still can
Protect my heart with a better plan
Angel reflects
Nothing but humility
Angel let me go
There’s nothing left that I owe
My sobs now heard on bleeding stones
Now I’m left completely alone
This poem is called Blades of Coldness. I wrote it while trying to process all that my mom put me through. It has been a long hard road of learning to forgive her because of her own pain. It still pains me but I can say it has made me stronger as a person.
Blades of Coldness
All the circumstances cannot hold
In this place once called home
Locked away for years of abuse
Your tongue rolled out any excuse
I lived my life as your silhouette
Pains me today you had no regrets
You knew I wouldn’t run and tell
It was payback for causing you hell
Everything I did I couldn’t satisfy
Later learned it was to crucify
Strength came so I could leave
Realized there was much to achieve
Sometimes I think of your icy touch
Your blades of coldness did so much
All those years I played the part
Never again will you penetrate my heart
There are many more poems to share but for now I wanted to give a taste. I promise not all my poems are dark and dismal. I have a lot to be thankful for especially the grace and mercy from my Lord. I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for His great love for me.
